The kind of Man to NOT be with!

Every girl often dreams of her Prince Charming.

The kind of guy we read about in the old M&Bs, Silhouettes, Harlequin... We dream of that tall, dark and handsome guy with the six pack, who likes everybody and our family members just absolutely adore him. Sadly, for several reasons- low self esteem, not realising our value, plain stupidity etc, we often get the wrong kind of man (I’ll go into the reasons we girls sometimes date the wrong man in some other post) and many times we just cannot see it so when we get violently jolted out of our fantasy by reality, we find that we have been jilted or we got the short straw in the kind of man we ended up with.

What's this post about? It is about the kind of man that you should not be with and all of these is from personal experience and also from the experiences of some of my friends. It will be my first series on the kind of men you should never be with so look out for these warning signs. Plus, I just haven't posted anything due to several reasons. One of them being that my laptop got stolen. A sad day in the world, I tell ya.

Here we go:

1. The You-Must-Dress-Like-Kim-Kardashian Man

Source : Youqueen.com

OK, this is not a joke. This was real. I dated this fella who was seemed to be perfect, hardworking, spirit filled and all that. One day, after visiting him, he was taking me to a junction where I could get a cab home and he asked me what I thought about Kim Kardashian. I never thought much about her and I said so. He then asked me if I liked the way she dressed and put on makeup. I said, yeah, it was cool. And the next thing he said was to tell me that he wanted me to dress up like her from that time onwards. I was like, wow...OK, I have heard

you and with that, we jumped out of the Keke   napep (keke marwa) and I took a cab home (I paid my cab fare).

Source: entertainmentwise.com

The next week, boyfriend sent me pictures of Kim Kardashaian- her hair do, her makeup, her underwear, her clothes etc and with every picture, he pointed out what he wanted. He would send a picture and say, "Do you see the way her hair flows to the side of her face? You should do more of weaves than braids".

Ha! One day I had to ask him if he would be angry if I said I didn't want to dress up like Kim Kardashian. He got so worked up. He said I was disrespecting him; that he was my man and this was what he wanted. Toh, I asked if he was dropping the money- I was just a youth "corper" then. He dropped the phone in anger.

My point? You can't be with a man who has fixations on Kim and wants you to be her. Perhaps when you get married to him and you're making out, He'll be calling out Kim's name. Of course, a man should always add to your life but when he just throws out instructions on how you should dress without doing anything about it, please flee! Especially, when he isn't giving you a dime or buying you the clothes. I love braids and they make me look good- he wanted me to wear constantly wear the Brazilian hair my Maama had bought for me at the time. Such men have issues with themselves or think you are not up to their level and rather than lovingly work with you to be a better person the mantra they chant is “I want you to be like this”. In fact you become a cold project not a loving work of art for them. Run away from people who make you feel inadequate or less of yourself. You can take role models but when God called my name he didn't call me Kim;He didn't give me her body and I certainly don't have the money she has yet to be that kind of person he wanted me to be. She who has ears should hear o!

2. The I'm-always-Right Man

Source: myfunnyworld.net

The problem with most men these days especially men who have a Christian background is that they are always right and never wrong (this applies to men generally but you get what I mean). Men who, even when they are not married to you, are already demanding submission. The Bible first said submit one to another then specifically mentioned the wife, hear, the WIFE should submit to the HUSBAND. Now, I believe that you should accord a man respect but please don't push boundaries abeg. Besides, in a book I read by Myles Munroe, he said men should act worthy of submission. With that talk of submission, some men believe they are always right. I tell you, you can't argue with them.

OK, OK, so I have a penchant for saying what's on my mind (which taken to the extreme is certainly not good) and I am a work in progress, thank God for sheer discipline but I dated this dude who married someone else. Why? One of his reasons was that, when we had disagreements, I always argued (plus I always caught him when he tried to, was about to or actually cheated on me) but this angel wife of his just never argued with him and always apologised even when he was wrong. The couple sadly parted ways even before their first anniversary; he finally saw that if I was boiling at 10 degrees, she was a thousand degrees adding verbal abuses to her arguments and even being physically abusive (I am against women and even men literally abusing themselves)

One man told him what he said to his girlfriend and my boy friend then said something almost the same. He said, “In this relationship, realise two rules: One, I am always right and two, when in doubt, kindly refer to rule one: I am always right.”

My issue with men like these is that most times they are quite proud and haughty and just cannot see themselves being advised or reprimanded by their women. Now, women I did mention you need to know how to say things but men like that usually do not value your opinions or advice. And if it's something that he constantly does...hian, hian!


3. The I-answer to-Nobody Man

Source: ebay.com

RUN AWAY from a man who answers to nobody. If his Father or Mother, brother, Pastor or even friend cannot talk to him or if he cannot listen and heed their advice, I suggest you run away. My personal opinion. If he doesn't have someone like that and he messes up big time, who would you report him to? That I-want-you-to-be Kim guy refused to introduce me to any of his people or friends. I just knew him and his security man. I didn't know his neighbours; I didn't know his Mum or his special clique of friends he called brothers. So when I finally confided in his mentor he called a father who was my mentor by the way, the guy got angry o! So my question was why the relationship was so secret.

Who does your man answer to? Of course, you should handle your differences but I strongly believe that when perhaps things get desperate ( it might not be a quarrel. maybe you just want him to see your perspective) who does he talk to? Plus, if they are friends he talks to, are they responsible people? Because if he answers to Ahithophel advisers, it may be worse for you.

To Be Continued....