The Beauty In Ugliness

I am not who I used to be

Not the dainty little thing that I was.

Not the cute princessy queen I was

No longer...

Not for now

This period where I become alien

To birth forth something new

Something different

Something me

Someone with all the traits and persona

Of all my ancestors

I am no longer the six inch heel wearing

Trotting and skipping like a gazelle being

No longer as cute as I used to be

No more fitted dresses and careful makeup

No more of that...

I am not who I used to be

I am now what you my term ugly

My nose has grow triple its size

And my cheeks are all puffed up

They said I would have a glow around me

But I have dark freckles on my chest and back and face

I pee hundred times a day

And my feet are always swollen

I’m no longer a size 5 ½

My feet are now a size 7

I used to be a size 12

Now I’m a 14 or close to a 16

I’m no longer attractive(so I think)

I’m heavy and easily irritable

Snapping like a "snapfish"

At all and sundry

There’s someone on my inside

And I can feel her very breath

I know when she eats from me

I know when she wants to play

Yet outwardly

I am so misshapen

My marks stretch from here to Jamaica

And I can’t sleep however I want again

I wear flats and no heels

I shuffle and waddle, like a duck

There’s no grace to my steps

I know...compared to what I looked like before

I’m now ugly

But 36 weeks later, I gripe with pain as my hips shift

I shift and toss as I scream and claw at my hair

Oh yes, hours later the sweetest cry pulses out from my insides

As I expand and I usher in another me

So, it’s 36 weeks of tears and cramps

36 weeks of morning sicknesses and swollen feet

36 weeks of irritability and mood swings

36 weeks of plain ugliness

Or you can make that 40

But something, someone came out

A beautiful gift undeniably unique

In my ugliness, I brought forth beauty

And birthed the dream I always had

So it may seem slow

And the walk may be long

And all you may see is your desert

Hold on, you’re birthing your oasis.



Thank you Aunt Tutu for inspiring this one! Mwaah!