The Kind of Man to NOT be with! Post II

Sometime in August, I talked about the kind of man to not be with and I mentioned three of such men. This blog has made me realise I have a major issue with procrastination! I kept saying I needed to continue with the post but I keep postponing it and here we are now- finally. I'm working on being diligent sha. Here's a continuation of the kind of man not to be with. You can find the first post on this series here. Enjoy!

4. The I-left-my ATM card- home- can- you pay?

Source: quickmeme.com

There are different versions of this model of men. Have you ever gone out or dated a good looking, cute, tall guy? The standard TDH man? When dinner is over, he either forgot his atm card at home or does not have the complete money to pay for the meal. He is the type to call you with a need asking for a loan that he never intends to pay. Why? Because he likes you, he's doing you a favour so he shouldn’t have to return it. Hogwash! These kinds of men are users and it may be difficult to pick them out if you're like me- an independent girl that doesn't want the guy to think she needs him to pick up the bills. God designed it to be that a man should take care of a woman and while I don't believe it should be abused, a man has to show that he can represent as the man in her life. I knew a guy who was asking me out before I went to Law school. The guy just never had enough money on him. Many times we took a cab together, he had to be dropped off first and then he always forgot to pay for the fare. One fateful day, it occurred to me that this was a convenient forgetfulness so I reminded him when he came down from the cab to pay for the fare and he was like Oh, he didn't have enough money on him so could I just pay? Thank God I never dated him because shortly after, he always needed a loan. Be careful about men who have cars and seem to have it going for them or men who brag a lot about knowing the minister or this CEO. I know a funny story of a girl who liked to brag who met a guy who loved to brag and they married each other thinking the other had the money et all. Imagine the dismay when they found out it was all "mouth".

5. The Devil- made-me- do- it Man

Source: funny-pictures.picphotos.net

Any man who is a pathological cheat, you don't need. Any man who sleeps with a girl while courting  you and tells you it was the devil and repeatedly does it again should not be in your life. He needs deliverance because the kind of Beelzebub that's possessed him eh? Why is he always blaming the devil anyway? It’s either, “I don't know what came over me”

“I didn't mean to do it”

“It just happened”

Yeah, right. His brain released those hormones that commanded him without his consent to do stuff with Clara or Chioma. If he can't keep his pants on when you are courting, what makes you think he'll do the same when you are married? Some women have the grace to marry these kinds of men; add God's intervention and you're good to go. However, there's a word to describe this kind of man: "Playa".

6. The Number-you've-called-is-busy-now man

Source: memegenerator.net

Or the number you called is not available at the moment! This man would not leave his comfort zone but would rather dictate the relationship which is selfish. He's here today and unavailable tomorrow. He’s the type of man that sulks every time. When you have an argument, he'll just log off and switch off his phones until he gets out of his sulky “tantrumic” mood. I know a lady who started to see a guy; once he was depressed or they had an argument, he could switch off his phones for days on end or ignore her calls. When he came off it, he would tell her the reasons why he refused to pick her calls- you annoyed me, you upset me, you didn't respect me. It's me, me, and me all the way. My dear, a man who will be emotionally unavailable to teach you a lesson, you don't need; that’s some kind of emotional abuse. Some people may have genuinely depressive moods and if you understand such melancholic people and you have been called to the ministry of help, then by all means, help them but don't lose your shine to their dark clouds.

7. The Can- you- wash - my-Clothes? Man

Source:fantasia4ever.blogspot.com

Or "can you cook some food. I'm hungry" or "can you clean my house? it's dirty." etc. I always say that even if I don't know my self-worth, I know my parents would die to hear I'm cleaning and keeping house for a man who's not even my husband. It's called respect. Don't get me wrong o. People who know me say I can be kind to the extreme but here's the difference. When I used to cook and bring it to my boyfriend or he would come over to eat, it was MY CHOICE, not my responsibility. That's the difference. Some men expect a girl to cook, clean, wash and have sex with them. What is he giving you? Money? How much is worth your work? Good sex? Seriously? He'll marry you. Has he married you?

I met one guy whose father seemed to be connected to the big wigs in government. He was a lawyer and even had his own house, driver and personal assistant. So he invites me to dinner, I say fine. I'm' not choosy about where I eat with a guy on a first date(the guy knows how much he has so I wouldn’t want to pick a place higher or lower than his standard  plus I always have my "vex" money. Lol). He takes me to Bolingo Hotel- there’s a restaurant in there. We eat and the next thing, on a Sunday, he calls. He's hungry and there's no food. Ok, so go buy food. He's tired. Hmm, send your p.a. He's not around. Your driver? He travelled. He then asks if I have cooked. I say yes. He's like I either bring over the food to him, he comes to eat or I come and cook. Was this dude high? Especially as at the time, I lived with my parents.  I say no; he begins to rant about how unworthy I am to be his wife bla bla bla.

What did I tell him? If it was the money for bolingo's food he wanted, he should come and take it. (For where? I think I was broke that time. lol!). But you get my point. This is the typical kind of man to not be with.

8. I am-so-confused-mixed- signals Man.

Source:http://groupthink.jezebel.com

This type of man suddenly wakes up one morning after you have been dating him for a year or two or three or four and says, "He’s confused". He’s not sure if you are meant for each other etc. He's giving you mixed signals- today, it's green, tomorrow amber, three minutes later, it's all the colours of the rainbow.. You are never sure of where you stand. There are always telltale signs to such people. He doesn't really send you; you are the one trying to hold the relationship; he wanders and you take him back etc. Suddenly you are confused. It's just code word for “I'm tired of this relationship” or he's not taking your relationship seriously. In some cases, the guy may be genuinely confused due to certain factors and he may take time to work himself out  but this is rare. Men are usually more decisive than women especially if your character as a woman isn't questionable. My boyfriend as at then said something in those lines and was crying. Chai, me sef, I have fallen mugu o because I was just consoling him that it would be alright, we will work etc. He was looking for a way out and was too cowardly to say it (which I may have been heartbroken but would have appreciated if he said it straight up).

I have mentioned eight men you cannot afford to be with because you're better than the above mentioned. Feel free to send in your thoughts or add to the number. Someday, I'll tell you the kind of man to be with! Mwaah!